I confess I rarely have many dealings with erotic novelists. This isn’t snobbery on my part, it’s just they tend to be so much more generously remunerated than a mere poet. Still I do have a friend who is renown within the genre. I was going through a poorly remunerated period when he bumped into me.

“I say old fellow, do me a favour will you? I’ve got a book launch and really need somebody reliable behind the bar.”

It may come as a shock to people who think they know me but I’m very reliable when working, rarely drinking to excess. So I’m occasionally called upon by friends who need somebody sober to watch their back.

In this case the book launch was in the rather nice house of one of my friend’s patrons. Apparently her husband was going to some function related to work and wouldn’t be back…